How Do You Respond to Someone Who Has Apologized After 22 Years?

 I was fresh out of college, having just earned my undergraduate degree, and had taken a job working professionally. I was so excited; finally, I had a big job, and I knew I would rock it.

On my first day, my boss took me out to lunch, just me and her. I was flattered but wondered why the rest of the department didn’t come. It would have felt more welcoming if the entire department had been there. We were a small department; there were only four others, so I was confused about why they couldn’t come too. We didn’t go to a super fancy place; it was a bar. I didn’t go to bars then, and it’s still rare that I do. Anyway, from what I remember, the food was okay. During our lunch, she talked badly about the woman I replaced. This was a big red flag for me. I immediately knew that I did not like her character because if she could talk poorly about this person, who was still employed at the company, what was she going to say about me?

A few months later, she began having trouble with another person in our department, and she spoke poorly about them. That person quit. Eventually, a replacement was found, but not until after many interviews. She would say, "I cannot hire that person because he is older than me, and he won’t take direction from me." Another person she said she couldn’t hire because he was too large to fit in the chairs. After the new person started, I became the target of her harassment. Everything I did was wrong; she would put me down for the choices I made in my personal life, and eventually, I left too. I complained about how she was treating me and others. I asked for a meeting with HR and her to resolve it—a bad decision—because I was told to quit or be fired. I quit. I began working at temporary agencies to get by. It took me a year and three months to find a permanent position because she kept bad-mouthing me. I am not sure what exactly she said, but it wasn’t good because I kept being told, "We were ready to offer you a position, but due to Julie’s comments, we cannot."

Now she has reached out. Here is an excerpt of what she said:

"I know it can’t undo how I behaved, but I am no longer that angry, tumultuous person I was, and I want to thank you for providing me the opportunity to apologize to you. I hope that all is going well for you!!!"

I don’t think I will respond. What am I supposed to say? "Congratulations, you made my life a living hell, and now you want to apologize?" I think by not responding, it sends the message that I am not interested in anything she has to say. I don’t live in NE anymore, so I don’t have to worry about running into her. Plus, I may never forget what she did to me, but it taught me how not to behave towards those I am in charge of.